I bet you ask yourself this question all the time. Maybe you thought this year was going to be your year. Are you starting to think there is something wrong with you because you can’t find love? You’re a nice person, you have a good job and you are not a bad catch and you know that… but why is it not happening for you?

What is holding you back?

 

1. You don’t make love a priority in your life

We all know what we should do but we don’t always do it. We know we should go out more, we know we should make the effort to talk to guys we like; we know we should make more of an effort to meet men. I hate to state the obvious but sitting in the house watching an episode of Coronation Street won’t get you any closer to love.

If you want love, you have got to get out and be with people. You have got to let people know you are genuinely interested in meeting someone.

What is going to make the biggest difference if your ability to find love is you making a clear cut decision in your head and gut. You need to decide that this year is going to be your year and don’t  give up till you are there.

Yes, if you want love, get serious about love and make it a priority in your life.

2. You repeat the same pattern

Your dad was the man of the house, your mum was a housewife and you resented that. You think ‘Why didn’t my mum stand up to my dad? Why did she put up with all his stuff?”  You swore to yourself you would never end up with a man like your father and what keeps happening to you? Every guy you date is like your father or the complete opposite.

Now you didn’t sign up for a wuss of a boyfriend either, so why can’t you find a man who loves you, is romantic, sensitive and kind without all the stuff? Because we must shift our own stuff first or at least be on the journey towards doing that.

3. You fear getting hurt

Your last boyfriend cheated on you, your dad cheated on your mum. Deep down at your core the reason you don’t have a boyfriend right now is because you don’t trust men and because you don’t trust men. You don’t let men get close to you or get to know you.  You either keep pushing men away or find reasons why you should not go out with them because well, ‘men are all the same’.

A fantastic way to stay single is to sit in your hurt. Fear of rejection, fear of being cheated on, fear of being trapped, fear of intimacy. And do you know what else fear gives you constantly? The wrong guy, so if you want love. Let go of the fear.

4. You have a negative belief about love, men and marriage

I don’t believe in marriage, all marriages end up in divorce; men always cheat on their girlfriends I see at work all the time, what if I get trapped? How can you stay in love with someone for forty years I couldn’t think of anything more miserable.

That thinking is sure to keep you single? We get back what we put out, the best thing to do is to change your thinking, change your life. See good in love, men and relationships and you will have love too.

5. You are clueless about male and female dynamics

Yep, it is useful to know how men are different to us, what men find attractive in women. What you find attractive in a guy. Why do some women find a guy no problem and for you he feels not so straight forward. Knowing that there is a formula that works and what that is will get you closer to love.

You must understand that there are things you are doing that work very well, and then there are things you are doing that don’t get you closer to what you want. Improve how you do things.

6. How we behave around men or how we see ourselves when we are in the company of a guy we like is not serving us.

Like yourself….you don’t even have to love yourself. You don’t even have to be perfect but you do need to really like yourself.  You will never believe a guy when he says you’re gorgeous or he loves you if you can’t even semi-believe it yourself. Want to let go of the single status? Like yourself. That’s all.

7. You want everything else to change except changing the thing that will make the biggest difference in your life “you”

Sorry, if you’re still single don’t blame the men, the country, the town, lack of opportunities. The answers to our problems are always inside of you, so don’t be afraid to take a look within and see what you can do for you, so you can find love too.

Lorna is a dating coach who helps sexy, smart, savvy successful women who are single find love with a great guy. Get your Free 15 Biggest Mistakes That Keep You Attracting The Wrong Guy.

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