How Should I Talk To The Guy I Like?

How should I talk to the guy I like? This question comes up a lot. When I’m working with somebody, as soon as she’s on a date or she meets a guy she’s attracted to, she’s like, “Lorna help.” She’s sending an email, “Oh what will I do? How can I chat with this guy.”

Okay let’s talk about that today. Everybody gets a little like that when they meet the guy they like, because you want it to work out. You don’t want to mess it up. Negative thoughts are going to go through your head, “Oh, what if I embarrass myself? What if I make a fool of myself? What if he doesn’t like me anymore?” We all have that.

Firstly I want to give you a few tips today. I have about 7. What I want to share with you first of all is if you find that you can chat to a 5 year old, you can chat to an old man who’s chatting you up, I don’t know about you but I used to get that all the flipping time. If you can chat to the guy your own age that’s really into you but you’re not into him that tells me that you can talk to the guy you are are attracted to, it is no different. You are just in your head, and that is where you must make the shift.

It is practice

That is a mindset thing, more than your ability to open your mouth and have a conversation with him. How do we get out of our head? There are two ways. First of all, I used to be the girl who couldn’t chat to the guy she liked. I soon realized that it was all in my head and I had to get my focus out of there. All of us do this to some extent, it is only natural when we are uncomfortable. We think we’re not good enough. We think we’ll do something wrong. We think we’ll put him off. We’re afraid of showing our vulnerability,  blah, blah, blah. Everybody experiences that. What I used to do is say to myself, “It’s practice.” Repeat this mantra every time you doubt yourself “it is just practice”.

All you have to do is remember you become what you want to attract. I used to say in my head, “It’s just practice and if I practice long enough, one day it will click.” Every time I met the guy I liked to take that sort of emotional energy out of it, I just said, “It’s practice. What’s the worst that can happen? No? I’ll get over no.” I was always focused my energy on getting better at what I did. Conversation and interacting with men soon the practice became my norm and the new me was how I would interact with everyone. on my practice. That’s a tip. Just say, “It’s practice.”

There just people

Also understand, they’re people. Good looking men have the same problems, fears, stresses, family backgrounds as you have. Their life’s no different.We all have a challenge or something we’re struggling with and men are no different. They’re just people.

Get out of your head

Another point I want to bring up is when you’re chatting with the guy, get into the habit of getting out of your head. Meditation really helps because it helps you get present in the moment and practice that skill of shutting your brain off. Imagine a whiteboard in your head and you just get the rubber and you go in there and wiped all the chatter off the board, your head is clear. For the sake of two hours or the ten minutes you’re in his company, just clear your head.

Forget yourself

And remember this juicy tip…. forget yourself. Clearing the head is forgetting yourself. Take the focus off you and put the focus on him. Find out, just generally be curious. Find out who he is, what he’s about. What he loves about his life and if you get really good at getting out of your head, you’ll have no problem chatting to anybody and that’s where you want to get to. You want to have this skill with everybody so that when you meet the guy you like it’s kind of easy, it’s kind of your norm. Focus your energy on him. When you can focus fully on his needs you make him feel validated, important and appreciated and who wouldn’t want to go out with a woman who makes you feel like this.

You are already interesting

You are already interesting. It’s as easy as this. When you think, “Oh I can’t talk to the guy I like.” Say for example your job is a nurse, and you’re on a date and the guy asks, “Where are you from? What do you do? You could say “I’m a nurse and I work in St Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin.” Or you could say “I’m a nurse and I work with family and kids and I really love it because it’s so much fun. Especially when there’s this little girl called Sophie and she’s about 3 years of age. She’s so funny because when we put on the song, I’m too sexy for my shirt, she dances around the room. She laughs and sings. It’s just absolutely hilarious, you should see her.”

You’re interesting. Talk passionately. Tell a story, rather than just giving a fact. Rather than saying, “I’m a nurse. I work in a hospital,” get some feeling in there. Get some emotion in there and share your experience. Make it interesting and allow the conversation to flow. That is as simple as just telling a story behind what you do. What about your pet?  You have a pet dog and his name is Smokey and you go up the mountains with him or tell a funny story or something Smokey did. It’s as simple as that. Be passionate about your life. That’s what makes you interesting to him.

Make him feel good

If his experience with you is fun, it’s good, it’s enjoyable. You’re comfortable with yourself. When you’re comfortable with yourself, he’s comfortable around you. Know that you’re already interesting.

Find out his passion

Forget yourself. Just practice. Understand it’s mind set and if you want to know how to have a conversation with a guy, just think of it this way, find out what he loves to do, live, be, have. If you can get talking about somebody’s passion, what they’re interested in, you’ll be a hit because you’re making that person feel good about themselves in your company. That’s what you talk about with a guy.

Keep it light. Keep it fun. Just be curious and enjoy yourself.

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