I don’t know if you know my own story but I met my own boyfriend online. My ability to attract a great guy online did not happen by accident…. I was well prepared. I wouldn’t describe myself as the greatest flirt, the most confident girl or the best looking girl either.

Personally I feel dating in real life is far harder than meeting a guy online, all you have to do to meet a great guy online is master a few skills, but first you must start here.

1. You must get clear about what you want

Most people don’t take the time to get clear about what they do want. They just wish for it and will say something like I want a boyfriend, I want a guy who I have chemistry with. That is great, but really, what does that mean?

Getting clear means thinking about how you like to be loved. Are you a person who loves touch, quality time or affirmations? It is about thinking who your ‘compliment’ is. In my own life my friends are very grounded, peaceful people and I am the one thinking about the next big thing, I want to go here, do this and so on.  I don’t work well with a carbon copy of me. I work well with men who are easy going and sweet but masculine and assertive. Once I knew what I wanted I stopped wasting my time online and started to meet the men who were right for me. Don’t skip this step, get clear.

2. Why would I date you?

Most of us go about dating with our wants list. We spend the first date sussing him out and our profile is all about what we want. We are disappointed when he doesn’t answer our serious questions correctly like “Do you want kids?” “Are you into yoga?” On your profile and first couple of dates, let your agenda go for now and just get to know the person. Think about how his life will be better with you in it, bring that girl to the date fun, light, warm, makes him feel good and likes herself. She will get a second date, not the needy girl… she makes quality guys run.

So do this exercise. Stop and take the time to think about what you offer him. How you contribute to the relationship. You see most people operate from a place of ‘What is in it for me?” That guy you want, wants a girlfriend who is fun, loving, trusting, appreciates him and enhances his life.

We all have good and bad qualities, what do you offer your future boyfriend? Why should he date you?

3. You date online the same as in real life

Let me explain this fully, you see when you date correctly in real life you chat to a guy at a bar, event or wherever you meet. He asks for your number, you say yes, he plans the date, you say yes. He reaches out to you after the date saying he had a great time and he would like to see you again. You say yes, while showing interest and letting him know his efforts are appreciated and so on till your boyfriend and girlfriend.

The mistake most women make is they get an email saying  “Are you free to meet for a coffee tomorrow?” You say yes because you think it is online and I don’t want to waste my time. You have cut short the natural flow of creating the very sequences that allows a man to fall in love with you. Slow it down and date online the same as in real life. Let him purse you, let him make the effort for you, let him know you are interested and let the relationship evolve organically online similar to it would if you met online.

Here is how he reads your profile, you exchange emails, he asks for your number you say yes, he calls you before the date, you say yes. He plans the date, you say yes, he reaches out after the date you say yes.

Whether online or offline make sure he is making the effort to impress you, makes you a priority in his life and is always stepping up.

4. Getting a killer profile written for you

Why should you get your own killer profile written? It gets you clear on what you do want. One of the ladies who worked with me and found love in just three months had a trip to Iceland as a must on her bucket list. She shared this on her profile, he brought her to Iceland in September last year. She also had written in there what she has to offer a man, her ideal date and the whole profile makes a man’s heart go “I must meet this woman”. Does yours say that? Interested in getting your own professional profile written? Email me here lorna@lornapoole.com

5. Understanding it is just the medium

If you attracted men who cheat offline you will attract men who cheat online. If you can’t find a guy attractive offline, you won’t find a guy attractive online because your reason for not being able to find love in the past is still deep in your system. Until you look within and examine the common denominator in all your experiences, you will get the same results.

I met a lady once on a bus from Dublin to Limerick, she was asking me what did I do and I was telling her I was giving a workshop in Dublin on how to date successfully online and she said I hate dating online I always attract the wrong men and I said okay explain more. She said they all lie, cheat and can’t be trusted. I asked her about before she dated online, she said oh I was married twice but they ended because both my husbands cheated on me.

So, please don’t blame the service when the theme is playing out in every area of your life…. not just online. We attract who we are, and if you want quality, you be quality. You live by this motto and you will meet your boyfriend like I did…..online. Remember you be quality.

6. It takes effort

Succeeding online takes effort, it takes honing your skills and always putting yourself out there. If you put yourself out there without getting better at emailing, killer profile,  honing first dates or what to do between the dates, you are going to make the same mistakes over and over again.

So remember hone your skills and be consistent. Consistency creates opportunities to meet men, skills help you get a better man. Be always upgrading how you go about things.

7. One last thing…. lose the stinky thinking

All men are only after one thing, men can’t be trusted online, there are not good men in the world, it will never happen for me. Nothing will keep you stuck longer than your own attitude and thinking.

If you want a boyfriend online start believing it is possible for you and start cleaning up your attitude when it comes to love. Yes there are good men out there and yes he is waiting to meet you.

Who do you need to become to have what you want? That is the real question here.

To get even more awesome advice about dating online then join me 1st March at 7pm gmt for my upcoming Free Training How I Met My Own Boyfriend Online & It Is Was Not By Accident. On this free training I share with you EXACTLY how I found love online, so you can do so too.

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